My dentist has been bugging me to buy a Sonicare for years so armed with a Costco coupon I finally bit the bullet.
Why had I waited so long to buy the toothbrush. Well...to be honest...I couldn't understand why anyone would pay $100 for a toothbrush. I mean, its a toothbrush. I had been buying the WalMart store brand toothbrushes. $1.97 for two.
Well, now I totally get it. First, the Sonicare (for the uninitiated) is like powerwashing your teeth. Second, anything that feels like powerwashing has to be good for you. And, because of its timed settings it actually forces you to brush for the full 2 minutes.
And, you've never realized how long two minutes is until you've tried powerwashing your teeth.
Tust me.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Darwin Award Nominee
So today I'm watching the Today show and they interviewed someone that I'm going to nominate for the Darwin Awards even though this person lived.
It's a story about the hurricane and they are interviewing someone who did not evacuate and ended up trapped in their home. This person called 911 and the operator said to tie his ID to his leg so they could identify him afterwards. This person expressed ANGER(!) at the police for not coming out in the middle of a hurricane to save him!
Ok, so here's what I find wrong with his anger. THERE WAS A MANDATORY EVACUATION. The government said those who stay faced CERTAIN DEATH. Now, I'm sorry, but if I heard that I would be on the first available method out of town. Frankly, I would've left as soon as it was obvious the storm would hit, regardless of having a mandatory evacuation.
But back to the idiot on the Today show. Here's what I figure was his internal thought process:
"I'm not afraid of no stinkin hurricane."
Then later:
"I'm going to die."
After the storm:
"I can't believe those cops wouldn't risk their own lives to save me in the middle of a deadly hurricane."
Yes folks, Darwin award nominee right there for you.
It's a story about the hurricane and they are interviewing someone who did not evacuate and ended up trapped in their home. This person called 911 and the operator said to tie his ID to his leg so they could identify him afterwards. This person expressed ANGER(!) at the police for not coming out in the middle of a hurricane to save him!
Ok, so here's what I find wrong with his anger. THERE WAS A MANDATORY EVACUATION. The government said those who stay faced CERTAIN DEATH. Now, I'm sorry, but if I heard that I would be on the first available method out of town. Frankly, I would've left as soon as it was obvious the storm would hit, regardless of having a mandatory evacuation.
But back to the idiot on the Today show. Here's what I figure was his internal thought process:
"I'm not afraid of no stinkin hurricane."
Then later:
"I'm going to die."
After the storm:
"I can't believe those cops wouldn't risk their own lives to save me in the middle of a deadly hurricane."
Yes folks, Darwin award nominee right there for you.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Costco and Hurricane Ike
Ok, so Hurricane Ike is a big deal...in Texas. Which, I might add is nowhere near where I live. So this evening after I get off work I decide to go to Costco, where I needed a grand total of 3, yes 3, items.
First, I pull up to the gas pumps. Or, rather, the gas line. This line stretches out into the street. Now, granted, gas prices will go up because the hurricane is liable to do some damage to refineries, but come on, gas lines? Waiting 15 minutes for half a tank of gas? Well of course, since I was already in the line (by virtue of not having a choice) I waited my fifteen minutes and put a quarter tank in my car. After all, it was $3.40 a gallon.
Ok, so I have gas and it's now about an hour before Costco closes. On any other Friday night the store would be empty. But, oh no, not tonight. Tonight there was nary a parking space to be found. Yes, that's right, we must stock up on bottled water before the hurricane hits a completely different part of the country! I don't understand the thought pattern:
Person 1: Honey, have you seen the news? There's a hurricane in Texas.
Person 2: Really? well let's hope they are ok.
Person 1: I think you missed what I said, there's a hurricane?
Person 2: Well, gosh darn it, we've got to get to Costco.
So, I fight my way in and get my three items. Three items which aren't even big enough for a family of 10. I then approach the choke points of all choke points, the cash registers.
Obviously, the brainiacs in Seattle (Costco HQers) had not figured out that a hurricane in one part of the country causes irrational responses everywhere else in the country. So, my Costco only had two registers open, and a midday Saturday crowd waiting to check out.
But, hey, there's a hurricane!
First, I pull up to the gas pumps. Or, rather, the gas line. This line stretches out into the street. Now, granted, gas prices will go up because the hurricane is liable to do some damage to refineries, but come on, gas lines? Waiting 15 minutes for half a tank of gas? Well of course, since I was already in the line (by virtue of not having a choice) I waited my fifteen minutes and put a quarter tank in my car. After all, it was $3.40 a gallon.
Ok, so I have gas and it's now about an hour before Costco closes. On any other Friday night the store would be empty. But, oh no, not tonight. Tonight there was nary a parking space to be found. Yes, that's right, we must stock up on bottled water before the hurricane hits a completely different part of the country! I don't understand the thought pattern:
Person 1: Honey, have you seen the news? There's a hurricane in Texas.
Person 2: Really? well let's hope they are ok.
Person 1: I think you missed what I said, there's a hurricane?
Person 2: Well, gosh darn it, we've got to get to Costco.
So, I fight my way in and get my three items. Three items which aren't even big enough for a family of 10. I then approach the choke points of all choke points, the cash registers.
Obviously, the brainiacs in Seattle (Costco HQers) had not figured out that a hurricane in one part of the country causes irrational responses everywhere else in the country. So, my Costco only had two registers open, and a midday Saturday crowd waiting to check out.
But, hey, there's a hurricane!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I Want A Dog's Life
I've decided I want a dog's life. Now, not any dog. Of course there are dogs that get treated horribly (see, Michael Vick) but my dog has it good. Here's why:
I get up early and head off to work. She sleeps until whenever.
I feed myself. She gets two square meals served to her.
I spend the bulk of my day in a shared interior office.
She spends it sleeping, playing, or lounging around outside.
Hmm....
Speaking of interior offices, welcome to my blog! This will be my place to share my irreverent thoughts on love, life and ...um...whatever else is on tab. Now you may be asking, why trapped in an interior office?
Well, one, I spend the bulk of my week in an interior office with no natural light. In fact, I think some prisoners may have it better. They might get cable and radio. I can't get radio signal, and thanks to my office computer policy I can't stream it on the internet either! Prisoners also have windows. Now, of course I get to leave at the end of the day,but let's not deal with facts here.
But, in addition to my actual physical work space you could think of "trapped in an interior office" as being a metaphor. Of, what? Follow along and find out. Or, just make up your own definition. That's cool too.
I get up early and head off to work. She sleeps until whenever.
I feed myself. She gets two square meals served to her.
I spend the bulk of my day in a shared interior office.
She spends it sleeping, playing, or lounging around outside.
Hmm....
Speaking of interior offices, welcome to my blog! This will be my place to share my irreverent thoughts on love, life and ...um...whatever else is on tab. Now you may be asking, why trapped in an interior office?
Well, one, I spend the bulk of my week in an interior office with no natural light. In fact, I think some prisoners may have it better. They might get cable and radio. I can't get radio signal, and thanks to my office computer policy I can't stream it on the internet either! Prisoners also have windows. Now, of course I get to leave at the end of the day,but let's not deal with facts here.
But, in addition to my actual physical work space you could think of "trapped in an interior office" as being a metaphor. Of, what? Follow along and find out. Or, just make up your own definition. That's cool too.
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